I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is ‘don’t tell the butcher!’ Rodney Dangerfield View this quote
I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is ‘don’t tell the butcher!’ Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means. Zach Galifianakis
Zach Galifianakis
How wise are thy commandments, Lord. Each of them applies to somebody I know. Sam Levenson
Sam Levenson
My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. Milton Berle
Milton Berle
Put an Irishman on the spit and you can always get another Irishman to turn him. George Bernard Shaw
George Bernard Shaw
In politics practically everything you hear is scandal, and besides, the funny thing is that the things they are whispering ain’t half has bad as the things they have been saying right out loud. Will Rogers
Will Rogers
I’ve lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years. And the funny part is, I still like ’em, and if someone handed me another million I’d put it right in the nose of some horse that looked good to me. Al Capone
Al Capone
On Valentine’s Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. Milton Berle
I’m at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table. Rodney Dangerfield
When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria – not necessarily by choice – but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren’t there. Zach Galifianakis
