Will Rogers

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Will Rogers

There’s the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign dealings are an open book. Generally a check book.

Will Rogers

These baccalaureate addresses given to graduates don’t offer ’em much encouragement outside of advising ’em to vote the straight Republican ticket.

Will Rogers

They are each good when they are out, and each bad when they are in.

Will Rogers

They are voting whether to keep a governor two years or four. I think a good, honest governor should get four years, and the others life.

Will Rogers

They got such a high inheritance tax on ’em that you won’t catch these old rich boys dying promiscuously like they did. This bill makes patriots out of everybody. You sure do die for your country if you die from now on.

Will Rogers

They ought to pass a rule in this country in any investigations if a man can’t tell the truth the first time he shouldn’t be allowed to try again.

Will Rogers

They used to take your horse and if they were caught they got hung for it. Now they take your car, and if they are caught it’s a miracle.

Will Rogers

They were very religious people that come over here from the old country. They were very human. They would shoot a couple of Indians on their way to every prayer meeting.

Will Rogers

Things aren’t what they used to be and probably never were.

Will Rogers