Will Rogers

When you straddle a thing, it takes a long time to explain it.

Will Rogers

Where I come from, they won’t let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.

Will Rogers

Whoever said a horse was dumb, was dumb.

Will Rogers

Why don’t they pass a Constitutional Amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as Prohibition did, in five years we will have the smartest people on earth.

Will Rogers

Why sleep at home when you can sleep in Congress?

Will Rogers

Wine had such ill effects on Noah’s health that it was all he could do to live 950 years. Show me a total abstainer that ever lived that long.

Will Rogers

Wish all the Farmers would move to town one year, that’s the only way I know to clear the thing up.

Will Rogers

Woe be to a weak nation if they live by a strong one.

Will Rogers

Women are not the weak, frail little flowers that they are advertised. There has never been anything invented yet, including war, that a man would enter into, that a woman wouldn’t, too.

Will Rogers

You are going to need sales taxes, both Federal and State, income tax, and a lot of other kinds. It’s a great country but you can’t live in it for nothing.

Will Rogers