Will Rogers

The United States investigates everything – usually after it’s dead.

Will Rogers

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

Will Rogers

The United States Senate opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

Will Rogers

The ways and means committee is supposed to find ways to divide up the means.

Will Rogers

The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes.

Will Rogers

The world is full of men who do big things, but when you meet ’em they are not outstanding personalities. Pretty near everybody is almost alike.

Will Rogers

There ain’t any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.

Will Rogers

There are two things I don’t care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist’s testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.

Will Rogers

There has been war since the beginning of time and we are no smarter than the people that have gone before us. There is apt to be some more war.

Will Rogers

There have been three great inventions since the beginning of time: fire, the wheel, and central banking.

Will Rogers