Mark Twain

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it-and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again-and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

Mark Twain

What a hero Tom was become now! He did not go skipping and prancing, but moved with a dignified swagger as became a pirate who felt that the public eye was on him.

Mark Twain

What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.

Mark Twain

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Mark Twain

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Mark Twain

When a German dives into a sentence, you won’t see him again until he emerges at the other end with the verb between his teeth.

Mark Twain

When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.

Mark Twain

When I find a well-drawn character in fiction or biography, I generally take a warm personal interest in him, for the reason that I have known him before-met him on the river.

Mark Twain

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not; but I am getting old, and soon I shall remember only the latter.

Mark Twain