Mark Twain

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

Mark Twain

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.

Mark Twain

Nothing seems to please a fly so much as to be taken for a currant; and if it can be baked in a cake and palmed off on the unwary, it dies happy.

Mark Twain

Obscurity and a competence-that is the life that is best worth living.

Mark Twain

Of all God’s creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

Mark Twain

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.

Mark Twain

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Mark Twain

Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.

Mark Twain

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Mark Twain

Our opinions do not really blossom into fruition until we have expressed them to someone else.

Mark Twain